It isn’t easy, is it, being a woman? In some ways, it’s harder if you are a liberated, modern woman who has used her freedom of choice. Freedom and choice bring with them the mixed blessings of accountability to the self. If I am soaring on the wings of success today, it is because I painstakingly built those wings. Or if my flight towards my dreams has become grounded, then I must take responsibility for my temporary failure. The psychological pressure a woman of today faces is enormous. But we can’t go back, we must move forward. We are the torch bearers for little girls who are learning their alphabets and multiplication tables. Little girls, who will look up to us as their role models when they come of age and start asking questions and seeking answers.

I have only one message, not only for the young ones, but also for you: change the paradigm. Create new definitions of what it means to be a woman. If there is a box that society has created or one that you have created for yourself and you find that box confining, climb out of that box. If following the prescribed guidelines for femininity is the way to your bliss, then follow those! If you need to change those guidelines to suit your soul’s need, change them! Let there be no rules except the ones you make for yourself. Allow yourself this freedom of self-definition and applaud its different versions in your fellow travellers. Be yourself and do us all proud!

But now that you’ve separated, you’re having second thoughts.

Your girlfriend wasn’t that bad.

In fact, now you come to think of it, she was pretty great.

So how are you going to go about getting her back? Below are five of the most effective options.

1. Say You’re Sorry

With most break ups, both parties are to blame for whatever went wrong. Men become sullen when women nag; women nag when men become sullen ‘ and so you both get stuck in a vicious cycle of bad behavior.

Take responsibility for your attitude and actions. Apologize for anything you may have done wrong and assure her you didn’t mean whatever nasty remarks she insists you made.

Bear in mind that women hate to admit their mistakes. There’s a good chance she won’t ask forgiveness for her own misdeeds, but if you really want her back, don’t push the issue. Shoulder as much of the blame as you can handle and vow to make things better.

2. Leave Her Alone

Girls like strong, confident men, so give the clingy, needy act a miss.

If you’ve been phoning her five times a night, sending unsolicited emails and hanging around her favorite haunts on the off chance you’ll get to talk to her you are doing yourself no favors. Rather than winning her affections back, all you’re likely to get is a restraining order.

Show a bit of dignity. Tell her once that you would like to try again, and then leave her alone while she makes her decision.

3. Date Other Women

You may believe she’s the only girl for you, but you don’t have to act like it. Girls are jealous creatures ‘ if your ex knows you’re seeing other people, she’s going to start thinking about what she’s missing out on. It won’t be long before envy gets the better of her and she comes looking for your attention.

4. Change

Mend your ways. Whatever part you played in eroding your relationship, it probably didn’t seem like that big a deal while you were doing it ‘ but if it led one woman to leave you, it’s likely to lead any future dates to do the same.

The only way you can make things work with your ex (or any other girl you may date) is to give her a bit of what she wants. And what most girls want is a nicely scented man who listens to her problems, pulls his weight with the housework and makes her feel gorgeous getting her clothes off. Think about how you can become that guy, and then ask for another chance.

5. Befriend Her

It’s not easy to be friends with someone who recently broke your heart. But if the separation was amicable or happened several months ago, call her up and invite her to the theater. Suggest a drink sometime. Hang out playing video games. Do whatever fun things you two used to do back in the early days ‘ just, without the sex.

Sex is the main difference between friendship and a relationship. Remind her of what a great time you have when you’re together and she’s soon going to realize what else it is she’s been missing.

Sexy cleavage

Problem: The neckline of your top is an inverted ‘U’ and the wide straps press down on your breasts to make them appear uneven.
Solution: Wear a dress or top which has an underwired bra to boost your boobs.

Problem: Your breasts get lost in a loose, ill-fitting dress.
Solution: Go for halter-necks with pleating at the bust to add volume. Choose contrasting colours on the chest to create depth.

Problem: A tight corset dress or top makes it look as if your chest is about to burst right out.
Solution: Go for a slim strap dress with a V-neck as it is likely to support your full breasts better. This style will also show the right amount of cleavage.

Problem: In a low, off-the-shoulder neckline with stiff boning, your boobs will look squashed and saggy.
Solution: Wear an off-shoulder dress with a gathered neckline, as it will sit comfortably on your assets. This will make your twins appear more firm and voluptuous.

Problem: Those with full breasts should avoid strappy tight tops and dresses as the look will scream ‘confined’.
Solution: Wear form-fitting clothes with structured cups to provide definition. And let the others say ‘too much oomph!’

Problem: A tiny top may flatten your breasts and cause unsightly side spillage.
Solution: Wow with a strapless style dress that dips into the middle and cradles your boobs to lend the illusion of having a bigger size.

Source: TOI

To avoid this little scene, it is helpful to have something in mind when you call!

The activity you pick for the date plays a big part in the date itself. A great activity that feels comfortable to both people can make for a great date. The activity also determines, for example, how much talking you will have to do. If you choose a movie you won’t have to say anything once the movie starts. That can be a real relief if you find you are both tongue-tied. If you go out to dinner you will have to carry a conversation all night long. That can be tough sometimes, especially on the first date. You can also earn points for the creativity of your date – if you have a really great idea then your partner will be impressed by your ingenuity.

This page gives you a catalogue of over 50 dating ideas. Use them as a starting point – let these ideas trigger off other ideas in your own head. Focus on the ones that sound good to you and go from there.
The Big Three
Every one knows about “The Big Three”. These are the normal, safe dates that will cause no waves. They aren’t very creative, but they are universally accepted:

* A Movie – Inviting someone to a movie is definitely safe. It is probably the #1 first date. You can go to a first-run film or a 99¢ movie. One good way to make it a little interesting is to let your date choose the film, or put a bunch of movie names in a hat and pick one at random when you get together. You might also check out the “Alternative” movie scene, especially if you live in a good-size city. Most cities have a small theater that plays foreign or limited-run films. Local museums may also have off-the-wall films. A museum in our area, for example, plays movies outside in the summer and people bring picnics and blankets to watch the films. They also have an animation festival every year that is lots of fun.
* A nice dinner – Another classic. As mentioned above, dinner out means that you are going to have to think of something to talk about for an hour or two. Sometimes that can be hard, especially on the first date. One way to lessen that problem is to go on a double date.
* A Dance or a game – High schools are always having dances and football games, so you can invite your date to one of these. It’s a good, safe bet.

Other Classic Dates
There are several other “classic” dates that you might consider. Most of these are more fun if you invite two or three other couples to go along with you:

* Bowling
* Roller skating
* Ice skating
* Miniature golf
* Amusement parks
* Water parks
* Concerts
* Getting ice cream together

Athletic Dates
If you and your date are athletic and/or outdoorsy, an athletic date can be a great way to spend time together. Just be sure to make it a date, not a competition:

* Hiking and nature walks – Local city, state or national parks almost always have hiking and nature trails. Throw some drinks or a lunch in a backpack and have fun.
* Bike riding – Find a bike path or trail in your area and go for a ride.
* Roller blading – Go rent a pair of roller blades together and spend the day at it. If you have never roller bladed before, make sure the first date includes taking a class so you can learn how to stop!
* Tennis
* Horse back riding
* Skiing
* Water skiing
* Billiards – It’s hard to say whether or not billiards is a sport, but they do show it on ESPN. It can be a relaxing and friendly way to spend time together.
* Exercising regularly – If you are both trying to exercise regularly, try getting together a couple of times a week for walking, riding, jogging, etc.

Educational dates

* Museums – Most cities and towns have museums: art museums, history museums, nature museums, etc. If you and your partner like this sort of thing, a museum can be a great place to go on a date.
* Historical sites – Historical sites, like museums, can be interesting if you are into that sort of thing. You might be surprised by how many historical attractions there are once you start looking.
* The Zoo – If your city has a zoo, it can be a fun place to go.
* Factory tour – There are lots of factories that offer really interesting factory tours. For example, Ben and Jerry’s ice cream offers a great factory tour if you happen to live in Vermont. If you live near Napa Valley in California, most wineries offer really interesting tours. Look in your area and see what you can find, or check out this list of great factory tours.
* Take a one-day class together – If you can find a one-day class at a local community center or college on something like painting, photography, sailing or dancing, this can be a great date.
* Walking tours – Large cities usually have self-guided walking tours of the historical areas of the city. Even if you have lived in the city for 15 years, it is amazing what you will learn.
* Public gardens – If you like flowers and trees, a botanical garden, arboretum or a community garden can be a great place to visit, especially in the spring.

Parties
One way to break the ice with a group of people is to have a small party with a theme at your house. Invite your date as one of the people at the party. As a teenager you will probably have to get your parents involved – if that is comfortable for you it can be fun for your parents too. Most of these ideas work well for parties with 6 to 10 people:

* Pizza Party – Buy some pre-made pizza crusts, pizza or spaghetti sauce, and toppings (sausage, pepperoni, cheese, mushrooms, etc.) Pair people up and let each person create half of a pizza with whatever toppings they like. Cook the pizzas and then share them among the group. You can then all go to an ice cream place for dessert.
* Pot luck dinner – The idea behind a pot luck dinner is that everyone brings something. As the host of a small party you would want to make the “main dish” and then have people bring other things like salads, side dishes, desserts, etc. You want to be sure to tell everyone exactly what to bring. If you don’t then funny, strange things can happen.
* Progressive dinner – If you and your friends live close together, then a progressive dinner can be lots of fun. The idea is to go from house to house for each phase of the dinner. At one house you have appetizers, at another the salad, at another the main dish, and so on. You might stop at four to six houses for the full meal. Organizing it can be half the fun.
* Fondu party – Get a good fondu recipe and have a fondu dinner.
* Sundae party – Buy several different flavors of ice cream, some toppings (hot fudge, sprinkles, etc.) and let people make their own sundaes. You might use this idea as the dessert for some of the other parties described here.
* Cook out – Organize a cookout, either in your back yard or at a park. Cook hamburgers and hot dogs, serve chips and potato salad, and make ice cream for dessert if someone has a hand-cranked ice cream churn.
* Video party – Pick up a video or two and invite some people over. Serve snacks and beverages. Or combine a pizza party or a sundae party with a video party.

Charitable dates
On a charitable date, you and your partner go volunteer to do something together. Here are some ideas:

* Habitat for humanity – Work one day building a house with habitat for humanity.
* Charity walks/runs/bike rides – lots of charities have charity walks or rides. You and your date can collect money together and then go on the walk together. Pick a cause you both believe in.
* Volunteer activities – The two of you might volunteer at a fund raising event, a blood drive, etc.

Other Ideas
“Non-traditional” or “casual” dates can take some of the pressure off of going out. A casual date won’t necessarily feel like a “real date”, so it is more relaxed. When you ask someone to a movie, everyone knows it is a DATE. That can create pressure. But if you ask someone to go shopping with you it might be a lot more comfortable. If someone is unsure how they feel about you, then a casual date (especially if it occurs during the day rather than at night) is easier to accept. There will be a lot less tension.

* Day trips – Pick a place an hour or two away and make a day of it. The place might be another city, a historic site, a mountain trail or a nice beach. Be sure you get home on time. My wife and I have made day trips to Washington DC, historic towns, beaches, etc. when we were dating. Planning the trip can be as much fun as the trip itself.
* Shopping together – Let’s say you are looking for a gift for someone like your mother or father. Take your date along with you to the mall and look for the gift together.
* Picnic – Plan a picnic at a local park or natural area. Invite some friends along if you want a little less intimacy.
* Ball game – Get a group together and go to a professional baseball/football/hockey/basketball game. Eat lunch or dinner at the game. This can be a little expensive if you aren’t careful, so plan ahead. Or try going to a minor league game rather than a big league game. Not only is it cheaper, but you can get a lot closer to the players and the field.
* Star gazing – Get a book on constellations (or invite a friend with a telescope) and watch the stars. This can be especially fun during a meteor shower.
* Do something neither of you have done before – find an activity neither of you have tried but that you have both thought would be interesting. Figuring out the thing to do that you have in common can be as much fun as the thing itself.
* Walk on the beach – If you live near the ocean or a large lake, taking a walk on the beach or the shoreline at sunset of in the moonlight can be very romantic. It can also be a lot more contemplative and peaceful.
* Visit a park. You can swing together or ride down the slide. If you go in the evening it will be less crowded.
* Cheer on a mutual friend – If the two of you have a mutual friend who is playing in a game or a concert at school, attend the performance together to cheer your friend on.
* Go to church together – If you are both religious, take your date to your church and then go to your date’s church the next week.
* Go to a club event – If one of you is in a club, the other can tag along to see what it is like, make new friends and participate in club activities.
* Try something spontaneous – Pick a nearby town neither of you have been to before and go explore it to see what you find. Or put a bunch of restaurant names in a hat and pick one. Spontaneous dates are probably not good for the first date, but can be fun if you have been going out for awhile.
* Poetry reading, book reading – lots of time local authors will have poetry or book-reading sessions at local bookstores. If you like that sort of thing find one in your area.
* Boat ride – Lots of municipal lakes have boat rentals (canoes, paddle boats, fishing boats, sail boats). Take a picnic lunch, rent a boat and see where you end up.
* Take photographs together – Get a couple of disposable cameras and go some place to take pictures. Then once the pictures are developed compare how different they are!
* Look up special events in the paper – The Saturday or Sunday paper in your area will have a list of special events for the weekend. You can find some really interesting things to try that way.
* Have a dance – Usually you think of “going to the dance” at School, but what about having your own dance? Get a group of friends together, pick the music and dance.
* Get a guide book for your city – Go to the library or a bookstore and get a tour book for your city. You will be amazed at all the attractions that are hidden nearby. A guide book may also contain self-guided walking tours that are fun. Or get a guide book for a nearby city and make a day trip there.
* Berry picking – In the spring or summer go strawberry/blueberry/blackberry picking if available in your area. Apple picking in the fall is another option.
* Flea market – Go explore a local flea market one Saturday.

Have Fun!

If you have a dating idea you would like to add to the mix

People often have expectations of themselves that they can not live up to. Where did these expectations come from? How long is their yard stick? A yard is thirty-six inches. However, many people have a yard stick two or three times longer.

You need to remember that you are doing the best you can at any given time. Rather than impose unrealistic expectations on yourself, you need to love and accept your accomplishments, step by step. If you love and accept yourself, you will notice, it all works out easily and effectively, more often than not.

What are reasonable expectations? Reasonable expectations include demonstrating consistency, persistency and perseverance toward your goals. When you apply these behaviors you will achieve your goals. It’s reasonable to expect consistency, persistency and perseverance of yourself, because, everything else is something you are ‘hoping’ for and ‘wanting’ to accomplish.

When you expect consistency, persistency and perseverance of yourself you are using a thirty-six inch yard stick. Unlike expectations, consistency, persistency and perseverance, has only one definition and measurement. Since consistency, persistency and perseverance are the behaviors that are required to achieve a goal, your behavior becomes the only requirement.

Doris Day sang and popularized the song: “Que sera sera, whatever will be, will be.” It is a song about no expectations. No expectations means no attachment to outcome, which means that you can be content no matter what transpires, because you know that there’s a reason, or a higher purpose, behind divine organization and you can accept what is and continue creating. You can be like Thomas Edison, who discovered hundreds of ways that a light bulb wouldn’t work, yet, he persevered until he discovered the one way that a light bulb would work.

Thank you, Mr. Edison for your consistency, persistency and perseverance. There is no way to calculate how much longer we would have been without the light bulb if Edison had not been consistent, persistent and persevered – something to ponder.

Create your internal light bulb, give yourself the gift of consistency, persistency and perseverance. It is worth its weight in gold and money can’t buy it.

Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, Life Coach – Certified Hypnosis Practitioner, Author and Speaker. Dr. Dorothy connects people to principles that resonate in the deepest part of their being. She brings awareness to concepts not typically obvious to one’s daily thoughts and feelings.

It takes careful planning, organization and motivation to successfully work from home with children. There are many challenges when working from home while taking care of young children. If your children are not school age, they will be home with you all day while you work. Children often do not understand when mommy is working. They want attention and frequently are not willing to play quietly while you work. You will have distractions all day when working at home with young children.

As a work at home mom, you need to evaluate your children 's daily schedule. This can help you pinpoint the best time of day for you to work. If you are not able to complete your work at times of the day and week when your spouse is home, you will need to plan a general schedule for work. Of course, with children at home you cannot adhere to this schedule completely. You do need a generic schedule to help you stay on track.

You might find that you are up in the morning before your children. This might be the best time to begin your work. If your children nap at similar times each day, you can plan to do more work at those times. There might be times of the day when your children are quiet and content to play with some of their toys in your office area while you work.

Time management is key when you are a mom who works from home. You will need to use your time wisely. Make a list of everything you need to accomplish for work each day. Decide the order in which you will complete your work. Planning your time will help you to be successful even if you must work in one or two hour increments throughout the course of the day.

In some cases, you might be able to work in the evenings. You can plan some of your work for the end of the day after your children go to bed. Depending on your spouses work schedule, they might be able to watch the children while you work for a few hours in the evening and on the weekends. This will help you to have times when you can work uninterrupted.

Have a well-organized office. You will need to find everything you need quickly. If you work from home you should have a designated office space. Your youngest children will need to be in the room with you while you work. Have an area of the room where they can play with their toys. Make certain that they learn that they cannot touch your desk, computer or paperwork.

Working from home has many benefits. More mothers are working from home than ever before. You can be successful as a work at home mom by carefully planning and staying organized.

I did this interview almost a year ago when the writer called to ask if I could offer advice on how women can turn sex into a more frequent habit. At first I did a double-take, wondering if it was a serious request. However, the writer explained that the article was intended to gather sex advice from unusual sources. I’d never given much thought to applying habit formation techniques to sex before, but I thought… why not? Habits play a significant role in physical intimacy.

In the article I suggest turning physical intimacy into a habit by using the 30-day trial approach. Every day for the next 30 days, devote 30-60 minutes to talking, snuggling, cuddling, massage, and of course, sex with your partner. As the article accurately quotes me, “That time becomes sacred couple-intimacy time with no interruptions. The commitment to spend time alone together every day for 30 days will create the space for your sex life to blossom.”

If the trial doesn’t produce the results you want, you can begin a new 30-day trial of something different or return to the old habit. But by then the new habit will already be established, so if you wish to continue, it won’t be so difficult because momentum will be on your side.

I hadn’t envisioned this particular application when I first wrote about the 30-day trial method, but it’s nice to see that personal development techniques can even enhance our sex lives.

Five million women have just been told that I’m a sex expert.

There’s no way I can top that one. My life is all downhill from here.

But maybe this will be just enough to counter-balance my wife’s opinion.

But Klum, who gave birth to a daughter five weeks ago, was the audience favourite in her purple corset covered with a half gown with poufs of tulle. She emerged from the huge, castle-like set to applause. Musical guest The Black Eyed Peas – especially Fergie, its only female member, who wore a black, jewelled bodysuit – was another crowd-pleaser. She came out later in a green corset gown.

Of course, fashion really is secondary here. Victoria’s Secret always puts on an elaborate production – this time with a choir, acrobatic dancers and a giant polka-dot dog balloon – and fuels hype about its models. An online model search started earlier this month and is now down to two contestants, one of whom will be chosen by the public to appear in the televised version of the fashion show that airs in America on December 1.

“I could watch this online, but it’s a fun scene,” said Russell Simmons from his front row seat. “This show is always fun and a great production.” “It’s always a spectacular,” agreed costume designer Patricia Field. “Victoria’s Secret does that extra thing I like.”

Klum, who normally wears the most elaborate outfits, only appeared once so it was former Sports Illustrated Swimsuit cover girl Marissa Miller who had the honor of wearing a $3 million, diamond-encrusted bra.

Splashy jewels, it seemed, were one of the themes of the show with many models dripping in diamonds, crystals and other bling – while others wore faux fur stoles over their bras and panties. Thigh-high boots were the other must-have accessory.

Outfits fell into one of four themes: Star Trooper with breast plates and body armor; Pink Planet, which had a hippie vibe; the ethereal Enchanted Forest; and Romantic Journey that featured a lot of lace. Compared to previous years, the overall collection didn’t seem as skimpy, although Miranda Kerr wore an itsy-bitsy black thong get-up that might have to be edited out of the TV show.

After spending the summer researching Seattle’s neighborhoods, the couple settled on Madison Valley in the space formerly occupied by Real Cards on East Madison Street.

The neighborhood is a good match for the shop, which is stocked with apparel exclusively from Lisa’s own collection, also called Vian Hunter (a combination of her maiden and married names).

Inspired by the timeless and classic silhouettes of the 1950s and ’60s, Lisa derives her fashion inspiration from icons such as Grace Kelly and Audrey Hepburn.

She scours vintage clothing sales for garments from that era, which she then reworks into updated, contemporary clothing with a retro flair.

The Vian Hunter line is perfect for women in their 30s on up who are “looking to add a little dress-up to their casual wear,” says Scott, who runs the business side of things.

With a self-described passion for fabric, Lisa trolls the fabric shows for high-end European materials like brocade from France and Italy and lace from Belgium. A particularly stunning skirt, the Gail ($450), is worthy of a lifetime of New Year’s Eve parties, featuring hand-sequined fabric from India in black or silver.

Dresses start at $150 and range in style from casual and cocktail to special occasion. Lisa also designs jackets, which start in the high $200s. My favorite, a belted A-line with a flattering round neck called Bella, is $295. Tops and skirts start at $95. Her popular Cocktail Skirt, a flouncy tie-wasted reverse-apron (think tie in the front), meant to be worn over dresses, leggings or pants, ranges in price — up to $595 — depending on the fabric.